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Why we are at war in Iraq
On August 3, 1995 in an open letter to King Fahd, Osama Bin Laden called for a series of attacks against America for the purpose of driving the infidel American troops out of the Holy Land of Saudi Arabia. Following this letter there were at least three attacks on America by bin Laden's group, Al-Qaeda: the embassy bombings in Africa, the U.S.S. Cole and the World Trade Center. After the first two of these attacks, that noted American girlie-man, Bill Clinton, fought back and refused to be cowed, although those strong-on-defense, real Americans called it wag-the-dog. American troops stayed in Saudi Arabia at the continued request of King Fahd. After the last of the attacks against America by Al-Qaeda, the World Trade Center, the ballsiest president of all time, George W. (Patton) Bush, amongst much fanfare and hoopla pulled the American Troops out of Saudi Arabia. Oh, I'm sorry did the fanfare and hoopla confuse you? The fanfare and hoopla was the U.S. driving bin Laden into the caves of Tora Bora from which, with a wink-wink, nudge-nudge, we promptly let him go. After all he is the son of one of the Bush families favorite billionaires. Never met a billionaire they didn't like. The troops left Saudi Arabia under cover of darkness. At least under a media blackout by our equally gutsy fourth estate, fresh from their investigative coup of the previous two years covering SIN in the White House and that lying son-of-a-bitch, Bill Clinton. fresh blood and Gore dripping from their fangs. The troops left, their tails tucked between their legs being led by Mr. Balls as big as watermelons Bush. You say you didn't know that. You don't suppose it's because no one told you, do you. The U. S. has not been attacked by bin Laden's Al-Qaeda since. In case you can't figure this out on your own, let me spell it out for you. Mr. Tough Guy Bush capitulated to bin Laden's demands. Gave up. Chickened out. Cried Uncle.
Now, the U. S. had a problem. We and much of Europe are totally dependent on Middle Eastern oil. (Do I hear Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan tussling about energy policy in the background? Why, I believe I do, but that's ancient history from back in the day we could have done something about this particular weakness. Thank God we had Ronald Reagan to set us right, put us back on track to national dependence on one of the most volatile regions in the world. But that's another blog entry.) Without boots on the ground we had no way to protect the oil supply and jump into Saudi politics to protect our interests if the Wahabbist's came to power. After all, King Fahd was a really old dude not in the best of health and a real power struggle within the royal family between the Wahabbists and the Sheiks of the World was being fought under cover. Also, not having land troops in the region left Israel naked on all sides, except maybe Egypt, and that for only a little while longer. We had to have two things, an uninterrupted oil supply and a land base for our military to jump to Israel's aid should they need it. "What about that Hussein guy? We ought to be able to make him an international bogeyman and steal his country out from under him." said assistant secretary of defense Paul Wolfowitz. Actually, he had been saying this for years but the Clinton administration, not having enough cohones between the ears, didn't bite. Vice President Cheney, on the other hand, had been listening to Wolfowitz as long as Wolfowitz had been saying this and said, "Oh, boy! Bush will eat this up. He can take revenge on Saddam for trying to assassinate his father, a plot foiled by that idiot, Clinton, I can have my oil along with a blue water port for the oil pipeline from the Stans of Central Asia, and Wolfowitz, Pearl, and the rest of them Kikes can save Israel from the Towelheads living on this god-forsaken sand dune. And, as a bonus we can outsource our military to Blackwater and Kellogg, Brown, and Root." (Boy, the subjects for future blog entries just abound). Upon hearing this, George Bush said, "Saddam who? It doesn't matter, I got balls for brains. Just point me in the right direction. I say Bring 'em on!"
It's about this point the media began to get the scent of SOMETHING BIG. Of course, it didn't hurt that the Balls brothers (Dick and Dick) pointed out to them there was going to be war. How much better our country works when the media gets its instructions from the government, than when they go off investigating stuff on their own. Why they just might get it all wrong. From here on the facts of the case are pretty well known. When you hear someone say, "It was about WMD." you can just smile, give them a wink and walk on, secure in the knowledge that you know the real truth about why we got into this disastrous war. The media and the politicians say WMD because they can't bring themselves to admit they slinked into this money-pit with both eyes open, saying, "Yessah, Massah, Anything you says, Massah."
We have achieved exactly one of our three goals, "WE GOT HIM". No, No, not that guy, the other one, the one who DIDN'T do anything to us. That guy. We are farther away from having permanent bases in the middle east than we were when we started. We may yet get control of the Iraqi oil, at least on paper. The oil deal the U. S. is so anxious Iraq sign allows Iraq to control 20% - 30% of the oil profits from their fields, while BIG OIL will control the other 70% - 80%. Sounds fair to me. It cost us more than 3,000 American lives, more than 100,000 American limbs, and enough treasure to finance China for another 200 years whether they lift another finger or not, I think it's only fair we get their only means of support. If they hadn't meant to pay us for our trouble they ought not to have asked us to fight their battles. Oh, wait, they didn't. We decided to do that on our own. After we leave, and we will, I hope the oil companies will be able to pump paper because something tells me no matter how many oil agreements Iraq signs with us, until there is a responsible government in Iraq that can enact and enforce laws, engage in making treaties, and make real contracts, that's all the oil companies will have, no matter how hard we yell that Iraq is not keeping up their end of the bargain. If your house was on a pot of Gold would you give it away?
Anyone out there still confused about why we went to war in Iraq?
Stay tuned to this space. Next up, We nuke Iran, thoroughly destroying any chance of coming to some kind of rapprochement with them while the Mullahs die off and they become a rational nation once more. And in the process we terminally piss off the rest of the world. But, hey, we're the U. S. of A., we can do whatever we want to and the rest of you suckers out there just have to like it. Booyeah!!
Rudy "Big Balls 2" Giuliani in '08! Ah-Huh! Ah-Huh! I like it! I like it! Ah-huh! Ah-Huh! 9/11, 9/11 - BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID!!
pissed offNow, the U. S. had a problem. We and much of Europe are totally dependent on Middle Eastern oil. (Do I hear Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan tussling about energy policy in the background? Why, I believe I do, but that's ancient history from back in the day we could have done something about this particular weakness. Thank God we had Ronald Reagan to set us right, put us back on track to national dependence on one of the most volatile regions in the world. But that's another blog entry.) Without boots on the ground we had no way to protect the oil supply and jump into Saudi politics to protect our interests if the Wahabbist's came to power. After all, King Fahd was a really old dude not in the best of health and a real power struggle within the royal family between the Wahabbists and the Sheiks of the World was being fought under cover. Also, not having land troops in the region left Israel naked on all sides, except maybe Egypt, and that for only a little while longer. We had to have two things, an uninterrupted oil supply and a land base for our military to jump to Israel's aid should they need it. "What about that Hussein guy? We ought to be able to make him an international bogeyman and steal his country out from under him." said assistant secretary of defense Paul Wolfowitz. Actually, he had been saying this for years but the Clinton administration, not having enough cohones between the ears, didn't bite. Vice President Cheney, on the other hand, had been listening to Wolfowitz as long as Wolfowitz had been saying this and said, "Oh, boy! Bush will eat this up. He can take revenge on Saddam for trying to assassinate his father, a plot foiled by that idiot, Clinton, I can have my oil along with a blue water port for the oil pipeline from the Stans of Central Asia, and Wolfowitz, Pearl, and the rest of them Kikes can save Israel from the Towelheads living on this god-forsaken sand dune. And, as a bonus we can outsource our military to Blackwater and Kellogg, Brown, and Root." (Boy, the subjects for future blog entries just abound). Upon hearing this, George Bush said, "Saddam who? It doesn't matter, I got balls for brains. Just point me in the right direction. I say Bring 'em on!"
It's about this point the media began to get the scent of SOMETHING BIG. Of course, it didn't hurt that the Balls brothers (Dick and Dick) pointed out to them there was going to be war. How much better our country works when the media gets its instructions from the government, than when they go off investigating stuff on their own. Why they just might get it all wrong. From here on the facts of the case are pretty well known. When you hear someone say, "It was about WMD." you can just smile, give them a wink and walk on, secure in the knowledge that you know the real truth about why we got into this disastrous war. The media and the politicians say WMD because they can't bring themselves to admit they slinked into this money-pit with both eyes open, saying, "Yessah, Massah, Anything you says, Massah."
We have achieved exactly one of our three goals, "WE GOT HIM". No, No, not that guy, the other one, the one who DIDN'T do anything to us. That guy. We are farther away from having permanent bases in the middle east than we were when we started. We may yet get control of the Iraqi oil, at least on paper. The oil deal the U. S. is so anxious Iraq sign allows Iraq to control 20% - 30% of the oil profits from their fields, while BIG OIL will control the other 70% - 80%. Sounds fair to me. It cost us more than 3,000 American lives, more than 100,000 American limbs, and enough treasure to finance China for another 200 years whether they lift another finger or not, I think it's only fair we get their only means of support. If they hadn't meant to pay us for our trouble they ought not to have asked us to fight their battles. Oh, wait, they didn't. We decided to do that on our own. After we leave, and we will, I hope the oil companies will be able to pump paper because something tells me no matter how many oil agreements Iraq signs with us, until there is a responsible government in Iraq that can enact and enforce laws, engage in making treaties, and make real contracts, that's all the oil companies will have, no matter how hard we yell that Iraq is not keeping up their end of the bargain. If your house was on a pot of Gold would you give it away?
Anyone out there still confused about why we went to war in Iraq?
Stay tuned to this space. Next up, We nuke Iran, thoroughly destroying any chance of coming to some kind of rapprochement with them while the Mullahs die off and they become a rational nation once more. And in the process we terminally piss off the rest of the world. But, hey, we're the U. S. of A., we can do whatever we want to and the rest of you suckers out there just have to like it. Booyeah!!
Rudy "Big Balls 2" Giuliani in '08! Ah-Huh! Ah-Huh! I like it! I like it! Ah-huh! Ah-Huh! 9/11, 9/11 - BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID!!
